Cold Feet
by chaomeow
Summary: He remembers the pain the most.


**Disclaimer: **I can only wish...

**Author's Notes**: My first (heavily edited) Dramione fic afte x number of years!

It's good to be back! I think?

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Draco stared at the altar. Rather, he stared at the people who were standing in front of the altar. They looked stunning, perfect. They looked wonderful together. Everybody in the church felt happy for them - everybody was smiling at them. But he felt only the familiar burning sensation at the back of his throat.

Hermione Granger was getting married today. Draco thought she was too young to get married (She was 25 years old, a perfect age to marry, she said to him one day, but Draco didn't believe that there was a perfect age to marry, only the perfect person to get married to). She looked beautiful in her wedding gown, he thought. Stunning. She looked like an angel, standing there with the groom's hand in hers. Draco felt his throat closing.

Draco became friends with Potter first. He was a curse breaker and Potter an Auror. They were assigned together to round up a few loose Death Eaters (for even after 8 years, some were bound to still be around causing mayhem). Potter got badly injured (but not without killing the Death Eater too, by accident of course, or at least that's what Potter wanted him to believe) and he, being his partner, and having a background on Healing too, healed him afterwards. They started again after that.

When Potter introduced him to Granger and Weasley, they were dubious at their partnership at first, for who could forget the almost school-wide animosity between the two of them? Granger had been the one to accept him first, albeit warily, and of course, Weasley a few months after.

Granger and the bloke met at a bookstore. Draco remembers the story very well. She was strolling through the aisle looking for a book when the guy bumped into her. I bet he did it on purpose, Draco thought bitterly. He remembers the first time she told him the story. She thought he saw the one, she said.

_I'm supposed to be the one._

Her family was present, of course. Mrs. Granger was quietly crying in happiness that her only daughter was getting married, while Mr. Granger was comforting her, looking like he'll cry any moment too. Mrs. Weasley was clutching her handkerchief as if her life depended on it and Ginny was looking pretty in white on the side, looking as if she'll cry too.

Draco swallowed to keep the lump back.

He heard someone sniffling besides him and saw that Neville Longbottom was crying. He cringed then patted his Longbottom's arm in comfort instead (They were long past their differences, too). They were sitting in one row, all six of them – Draco, Longbottom, Krum, Bill, Fred and George Weasley. Draco was the best man – surprisingly, as he supposed she couldn't choose between Potter and Weasley, they were, instead made groomsmen.

_You said you didn't want to get married._

He looked at the altar again. Granger – no, Hermione - looked too beautiful while smiling brightly to her groom. Granted, the bloke looked okay, too. He felt his shoulder and looked up at Lupin who was smiling sadly at him, as if understanding his pain. He felt like throwing a tantrum.

But I won't. It's your day today; I won't ruin it by behaving like a child.

"It's going to be okay." He heard Bill say. He looked up and blinked. Bill - his newfound friend over the years. Draco scowled. He straightened his shoulder and looked in front once again. But as soon as he saw her beaming at her soon-to-be-husband, Draco almost lost his composure and slumped.

That smile used to be for me.

The man was saying her vows now. Lies, Draco thought bitterly. He won't keep it. He clenched his fist until his knuckles turned white. He thought that the guy wouldn't be able to understand Granger better than he; he knows Granger almost as well as Potter and Weasley knows her. He knew her weaknesses, her strengths, her likes and her dislikes. But Draco knew they can never be.

_We can never be._

George was crying now, too. Fred was comforting him, saying 'there, there'. Draco chuckled dryly when George scowled swatting Fred's hand away. Krum looked like he was holding back tears too. The quidditch player may seem strong and nonchalant about some things, but he can't ignore Hermione getting married (he did date her once and stayed in contact, sending a few owls here and there), getting forever bound to a man neither of them really know that much. And the git was surprisingly a big softy. Draco frowned.

All of them are happy for you. Why can't I be?

He looked at Weasley and smirked when he saw that he was looking anywhere but the front. Weasley looked like he wanted to avoid the lovey-dovey part and just run off to the reception to eat (Typical Weasley, Draco rolled his eyes). But they have to finish the ceremony first.

_Why'd you have to leave?_

Granger was the first one to get married. Ron was naturally jealous when he first heard the news. Who wouldn't, when your best friend – your once loved best friend (He probably still, Draco thought wryly) marries someone else not close to you? But he congratulated her sincerely. Fred and George were dumbfounded at first, but they gradually accepted that fact and congratulated him in the end (via numerous fireworks and firewhiskeys). Potter thought it was the best news since Ginny told them she was pregnant. Draco just felt betrayed.

"Do you, Hermione Jean Granger take-"

Draco tuned this part out. He wanted to scream, to throw something – anything – that would stop this. But he won't, he can't. He wanted her to be happy, and if behaving during her wedding makes her happy, then so be it.

_He won't make you happy._

Draco heard her say I do. He felt like throwing up.

He remembers his conversation with Bill the night Granger announced she was getting married. He remembers how happy she looked, happy that she'll get tied to the man of her dreams. He remembered the other's reaction clearly, too. But he remembered the pain most.

"I know how you feel about this." He remembered Bill pulling him in an empty room and confronting him, making him spill his feelings (damning himself for drinking up to God knows how many glasses of whiskey and scotch), making him admit everything. He and the curse breaker got close over the years, what with him and Draco having the same profession. Hell, Draco could almost call the older man his (dare he say it?) Best Friend. After Hermione, of course. Nothing could compare to Hermione. But then again, Hermione was more than a Best Friend to him.

"No, you don't." He remembered his fist clenching, back to the other man and the way Bill looked sympathetically at him.

"It's going to be okay." He remembers the oldest Weasley offering him another glass of whiskey.

"No, it's not." And he remembered accepting it, finishing the drink in one gulp, and probably conjuring a whole bottle too. "It's never going to be okay." But Draco remembered the sting behind his eyes the most.

"I now pronounce you, husband and wife!"

Draco almost ran out of the church.

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**Another Note: **Don't be surprised if you find another story of the same title with exact same words (except name) over the internet. It's mine, only under a different category and pen name :)

Thank you for reading!


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